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Being the Church Sound Guy The church has several sound guys but it is more of a hidden secret society than a popular group. I have been a sound guy in the church for about 3 years and there are many funny stories that happen in the background that no one really knows about. First of all let me tell you what it is like being a church sound guy (or any sound guy for that matter). The sound guy is usually hidden or in the back from everyone's view. They work hard to create and mix great sound and make sure that it sounds as good for the audience as it does on stage. So you are never really recognized and sometimes not even credited. Many times at our church there will be large events planned and the idea of getting a sound guy is totally forgotten until the day before the event. Then there is a scramble to get one. The only time a sound guy is guaranteed to get attention is when they screw up. The occasional feedback and even unseen accidents on stage when someone gets over anxious and their guitar cord is pulled out while they are dancing around first gets blamed on the sound guy. You also get many people that are great at playing instruments and feel that they would be just as good behind a sound board, so they feel free to giving you sound board adjustment advice.
After working sound for this long you get a good feeling for the equipment and it capabilities and the acoustics of the room. This includes sensitive spots on stage, what really causes feedback, and what microphones work better with what equipment. So it is really frustrating when people (who have never worked the sound board that you are on) give you advice. After you have been a sound guy for a few years it gets very difficult to attend any event where the sound guys are not so good. Your fingers itch to make that needed adjustment that will fix what is killing your ears. The ironic thing is that everyone around you probably doesn't even notice. One of my biggest mistakes was the Sunday before Christmas when all the little 2 and 3 year olds were singing. It is really cute seeing these kids up on stage. Usually about half of them actually sing; the rest are distracted by the person in front of them, are picking their nose, or they are waving to their parents. The half of the kids that are singing are totally intimidated by the crowd and you can barely hear them. So when I set up the microphones and speakers that morning I used these super sensitive high gain microphones. They can pick up a whisper from 20' away. So there are about 3 women working with these children getting them all lined up on stage and facing forward. I usually keep the microphones muted at this point or else I would be amplifying a bunch of scuffling, coughs, whispers, and the like. Finally the women had all the kids, about 40 of them, ready to sing. One woman started playing the piano and the kids were whispering their song. Now by this point many people are laughing and enjoying the kids and the kids are probably totally confused about what all the laughing is about. Occasionally one kids catches on and realizes that if they wave really hard and yell, "Hi mommy!" they can make the whole crowd laugh. So here I am in the back trying to pick up the singing and I am getting NOTHING. Now I have 3 sliders (one for each microphone) and I am slowly creeping them up higher for more volume taking every care to not get any feedback. When these super sensitive microphones get feedback they will really squeal. The next thing I realize is that I have them turned up all the way and still I am not getting enough sound. Well at the top of the board is the gain knob for each mic (the gain regulates the strength of the signal coming in the sound board). So I slowly started turning up the gain on each mic (something that we rarely do). Now usually I can hear the feedback before anyone else does so you got to be quick on the reflexes to pull back on the sensitivity before the feedback is audible. As soon as it reaches that point it immediately peaks to a loud squeal or throbbing hum. Well I reached that point and quickly snapped my fingers on those knobs that we rarely use to kill the feedback. Woah! I twisted them the wrong way and now they are at FULL volume! Well needless to say I killed the main volume but it was all too late. The little kids up front were totally quiet, every eye was huge and they were scared to death. Only about three recovered to complete the song. And I now hold the church record for the loudest and longest in duration of feedback. The latest story happened to me when I was doing sound at a funeral (for the first time). Having never done sound for a funeral before I realized that they are a lot less complicated than a regular Sunday service. Little did I know that they are a lot less organized. I arrived on time and two people were already there practicing their song and really anxious to practice with live microphones. So I started rushing around to get this stuff set up. Right in the front was the casket, which was open, and it still trips me out to see a dead person. The mortuary people did a really good job because the man didn't look dead at all. So I rush to the back and start unlocking the sound cabinet and the lighting controls. Then I hurry and open the cabinet so I can set up the board. SIREN! I forgot to turn off the alarm and at this point I rush over to the alarm console that is nearby, insert my alarm key and turn it off. My next thought is, "Man, that was loud enough to wake the dead." Then I realize I am at a funeral! Lucky for me I didn't say that out loud. Well needless to say I get all the equipment installed with much rushing around; people keep asking for more equipment and for me to do all these extra things that I wasn't told of when I was asked to do the funeral. I would have came 15 minutes earlier had I known all this. The funeral starts and finishes without a hitch. |