What Men Need

  1. Men need a bathroom without any towels or soaps that they aren't supposed to use.  Candles are optional but limited to no more than 2 and they cannot be colored pink or yellow.

  2. Men need a place to drop off their shoes.  I mean the average man has only 3 pair so we should be able to keep them wherever we want (under the bed or next to the door).

  3. Men need belly rubs, especially if their wife cooks good.

  4. Men need tools.

  5. Men need a private place.  Many men prefer either their own bathroom where they can read the newspaper (the WHOLE newspaper) but I am happy with my little shop.

  6. Men need all their clothes' colors to be strategically picked out by their wives so they can put anything on and never have to worry about matching.  I am sure you women already knew this, but most men are colorblind.

  7. When women complain, they want you to show them sympathy and just nod your head and say how terrible things are for them.  When a man complains they want someone else to agree with their complaint and recognize how right they are.

  8. Men need Sex (Actually men want sex, but as soon as they get it, men NEED sex).

  9. Men need something that is theirs that they can brag about.  This is usually some form of power as well (Such as guns, a fast car, a fast computer, killer golf swing, etc.).

  10. Men need a superficial relationship with at least one other man.  They can cuss at each other and blow off steam, but since it is superficial, no one is hurt.  They also enjoy scratching, eating, and emitting gasses near each other.

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